Ready to take our Would You Survive a Horror Movie Quiz?
Let’s be honest, horror movies are set up to fail. They wouldn’t be “horror” if someone didn’t die, so whether or not you’d survive a horror flick is really up to the screenwriter. That said… we thought we’d put you to the test anyway.
If you’re ready to see whether or not you’ll survive a horror movie, this is the quiz you need to take:
Horror Movie Mistakes Guaranteed to Get You Killed
Looking to up your horror survival game? These 13 (see what I did there) things are SURE to get you killed… so don’t do them.
1. Ignoring Warning Signs
It’s like when the gas station attendant with three teeth and a lazy eye says, “Y’all best stay away from the old Jenkins place,” and the group laughs it off. Next thing you know, they’re spending the night in a house that’s practically wearing a “Beware: Ghosts and/or Axe Murderers Inside” sign. It’s as if they think ominous thunderclaps and flickering streetlights are just part of the local ambiance!
2. Splitting Up the Group
Ah, the age-old adage of horror movies: “Let’s split up.” It never fails to amaze how quickly characters forget there’s safety in numbers. It’s like they’ve never seen a single episode of Scooby-Doo. Each time they decide to go solo, it’s a countdown to who’s going to scream first. Spoiler: It’s usually the one who says, “I’ll be right back.”
3. Investigating Strange Noises Alone
There’s always that one character who hears a sound that’s clearly not the house settling (think demonic whispers or chains dragging) and decides to check it out alone. Armed with nothing but a candle or, even better, the light from their dying phone, they tiptoe into the darkness. Because obviously, the best response to a potential ghost or murderer is a hearty, “Hello? Is anyone there?”
4. Forgetting to Charge Their Phones
In the world of horror, a fully charged phone is rarer than a friendly ghost. Characters either forget to charge their phones, or they’re in a dead zone (pun intended). It’s the classic, “I’d call for help, but I spent all day on Instagram and now my phone’s dead.” And let’s not forget the infamous, “I dropped my phone while running away,” rendering it as useful as a brick.
5. Not Using Weapons Effectively
Characters often stumble upon the perfect weapon, only to use it with the effectiveness of a toddler wielding a spoon. They either drop it after the first swing or, better yet, leave it with the (presumably) defeated villain. Because why would you need that axe anymore, right? It’s not like the killer in every horror movie ever has a PhD in Playing Dead.
6. Tripping Over Absolutely Nothing
It’s a scene as old as time. Our hero is sprinting through the woods, the killer hot on their heels, and suddenly – bam! They’re face-planting into the dirt. What did they trip on? A root? A rock? Thin air? It’s the mysterious force known only to horror movie characters. This inexplicable stumble, often in a wide-open field, gives the villain just enough time to close in. It’s the horror equivalent of “my dog ate my homework” – “a ghost tripped me!”
7. Trusting the Wrong People
Ever yelled at the screen, “Don’t trust them!”? In horror movies, the friendly stranger or the seemingly harmless companion often turns out to be in cahoots with the bad guy. It’s like accepting candy from a stranger, but the candy is a key to a haunted asylum. Remember when Laurie Strode trusted Dr. Loomis in Halloween? Spoiler: He was more obsessed with Michael Myers than helping her. It’s a classic case of misplaced trust with a side of betrayal.
8. Not Finishing Off the Villain
Our hero finally gets the upper hand, knocks the villain down, maybe even stabs them. Do they make sure the villain is really out for the count? Nope. They turn their back, often to comfort another survivor or have a moment of relief. Cue the villain’s hand twitching, and they’re up again! It’s like horror movie villains are part cat, with nine lives and a penchant for dramatic timing.
9. Going Back to Check on the Villain
Just when you think they’re safe, the protagonist decides to double-check the villain’s body. Because in horror movie logic, verifying death requires close-up inspection. It’s never enough to poke them with a long stick or, I don’t know, call the police. No, they have to get within arm’s reach, providing the perfect “gotcha” moment for the villain. It’s the horror version of “let me just make sure this fire is really hot by touching it.”
10. Poor Decision Making in Hiding Spots
When the killer is on the loose, our horror movie friends often choose the worst possible hiding spots. Like the closet that’s as transparent as a politician’s promise, or under the bed, which is the first place anyone looks (even kids playing hide and seek know this). It’s like watching a game of hide-and-seek championed by toddlers.
Remember in Jurassic Park when Lex and Tim hide in the kitchen cabinets? Classic example, but at least they had dinosaurs for an excuse. What’s the excuse when you’re hiding from a slow-walking, heavily breathing villain who’s somehow always five steps behind?
11. Not Listening to Kids or Animals
In horror movies, kids and pets are like the oracles of Delphi, sensing doom long before anyone else. But do the adults listen? Of course not. It’s always, “Oh, Timmy’s just got an active imagination,” or “Rex is just barking at a squirrel.”
Cut to Rex being the first to know the ghost’s entire backstory. It’s like in The Shining – Danny was riding his tricycle down hallways of terror, and the parents were still like, “He’s just being a kid.” Spoiler alert: He wasn’t just being a kid.
12. Disregarding Their Own Experience
You’d think after surviving a night in a house with a serial killer, one would learn a thing or two. But no, in sequels, these characters often act like they’ve hit the reset button. “Oh, a mysterious invitation to an isolated cabin from an unknown sender? Sounds like a fun weekend getaway!” It’s like Laurie Strode in the Halloween series – how many times does Michael Myers have to come back before you stop dropping the knife next to him?
13. Not Keeping the Car Ready
The car in a horror movie is less reliable than a chocolate teapot. Characters either forget to fill up the gas, lose the keys at the worst possible moment, or the car mysteriously won’t start until the killer is inches away. It’s like in every zombie movie ever – the group finally reaches the car, and it’s either out of gas or the battery’s dead. You’d think after the first zombie apocalypse, people would start investing in reliable transportation.
Final Thoughts: Would You Survive a Horror Movie Quiz
So, would you survive a horror movie? I took the quiz myself (yes, after I wrote it), and it turns out I’m a final girl. How about you?
Ready to watch a horror flick? These are my favorites: